Thursday, January 10, 2008

Thursday Thirteen

Archived TTs ~ TT Headquarters

Rules of the South

1. Every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

4. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. We don't understand you either.

5. We say "sir and ma'am", "please and thank you", "excuse me and I'm sorry" when we are wrong or impolite. Do not make the mistake of thinking it makes us weak. It's just good up-bringing.

6. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

7. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

8. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

9. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it frightens the fish, and aggravates the alligators.

10. Don't think that since we talk slow, we think slow. You may be in for a big surprise.

11. Save all manner of bacon grease. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

12. Tea - yep, we have tea. It comes in a glass over ice and it's sweet. You want it hot? Set it in the sun. You want it unsweetened? Add a lot of water.

13. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four-wheel-drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way: This is what they live for.

Thursday Thirteen Participants
1. melissa
2. The Pink Flamingo
3. Frances
4. Lazy Daisy
5. nicholas
6. Thea @ I\'m a Drama Mama
7. Michelle at Scribbit
8. SargeCharlie
9. Gattina
10. Nicole/Tickled Pink
11. pussreboots
12. katherine.

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19 comments, add yours here:

suchsimplepleasures said...

that was a great tt!!! i laughed! well, actually, my husband said i bad!

SJ Reidhead said...

I spent 40 years of my life in South Carolina. I never could understand "Sweet tea". I now live in New Mexico and go through culture shock the moment I hit Arkansas on my way to my sister's in Memphis. I must remember "unsweet". I still think it is the dumbest thing I've ever encountered - and have complained for 40 years (since I was little kid no less)

the Pink Flamingo

Frances said...

I love the one about y'all being singular...
Thanks for sharing.

Lazy Daisy said...

So true....great list.

Bubba's Sis said...

I hope they have sweet tea in heaven. And bacon grease. I'm pretty sure they do.

Great list! As a fellow GRITS, I can appreciate them all!

Nicholas said...

Funny list! Except #3. Making a special event to celebrate the lust for killing is pretty sick.

Anonymous said...

LOL! Thank you for that, anytime you can fit "ya'll" and "all ya'll" into writing is a good day...and I'm not even from the south.

Scribbit said...

I"ve ALWAYS wanted to visit the south--particularly Charleston and Savanah.

I love the waving thing and the tea thing. Wish I drank tea because it sounds so gentile.

Matt-Man said...

Mmmmmm bacon grease. I always keep it on hand. Cheers!!

Sarge Charlie said...

thank y'all very much for this list Ma'am....

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

you just have to love a southerner!!! oh, i'm one! sorry! ha ha ha ha ha

smiles, bee

Gattina said...

The only thing I know about South in the USA is that I don't understand a single word, lol ! It's not exactly the Boston American.

tickledpink.nicole said...

You are DEAD ON! OMG. And don't forget that when a bride register for glasses/mugs she means TEA, not beer!

Titania Starlight said...

As a Yankee in a south I always break protocol. I stick out like a sore thumb with the crisp and clear way I pronounce words. I lack the southern draaaawwwwllll.

I was asked once if I came from Europe. Now that is too funny.

This was a nice T13. I have stopped meme's life has juts been too darn hectic around my ranch.:o)

Take care,

Fratzels said...

So fab! Makes me want to pick up my yankee tush and move on down!

Mo said...

Y'all did a right fine job on this here list.
Don't forget "fixin" as in "it's fixin to rain"...
And then there's "tar" -- tar is that black stuff on the road. And then there's the water tar in the center of town, where you go'n spray paint your name on. And your car has 4 tars. Unless'n it's up on blocks in the front yard...

Oh, and I'm from Cincinnati, and I could really go for a three-way right about now! (And everyone outside of Cincinnati has NO freakin' idea what I mean...)

pussreboots said...

13 reasons why I'm glad I live where I do. Happy TT.

katherine. said...

having a whole bunch of family in Tennessee I can personally attest that every item on this list is true.

Mags said...

Hee hee hee....