Thursday, September 27, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #38

Archived TTs ~ TT Headquarters

Thirteen Secret House Cleaning Tips for Unexpected Company:

SECRET TIP 1: DOOR LOCKS
If a room clearly can't be whipped into shape in 30 days--much
less 30 minutes--employ the Locked Door Method of cleaning.
Tell anyone who tries to go in the room that the door is
intentionally locked.
CAUTION: It is not advisable to use this tip for the bathroom.
Time: 2 seconds

SECRET TIP 2: DUCT TAPE
No home should be without an ample supply. Not only is it
handy for plumbing repairs, but it's a great way to hem
drapes, tablecloths, clothes, just about anything. No muss, no
fuss.
Time: 2-3 minutes

SECRET TIP 3: OVENS
If you think ovens are just for baking, think again. Ovens
represent at least 9 cubic feet of hidden storage space, which
means they're a great place to shove dirty dishes, dirty
clothes, or just about anything you want to get out of sight
when company's coming.
Time: 2 minutes

SECRET TIP 4: CLOTHES DRYERS
Like Secret Tip 3, except bigger.
CAUTION: Avoid hiding flammable objects here.
Time: 2.5 minutes

SECRET TIP 5: WASHING MACHINES & FREEZERS
Like Secret Tip 4, except even bigger.
Time: 3 minutes

SECRET TIP 6: DUST RUFFLES
No bed should be without one. Devotees of Martha Stewart
believe dust ruffles exist to keep dust out from under a bed
or to help coordinate the colorful look of a bedroom. The rest
of us know a dust ruffle's highest and best use is to hide
whatever you've managed to shove under the bed. (Refer to
Secret Tips 3, 4, 5.)
Time: 4 minutes

SECRET TIP 7: DUSTING
The 30-Minutes-To-A-Clean-House method says: Never dust under
what you can dust around.
Time: 3 minutes

SECRET TIP 8: DISHES
Don't use them. Use plastic or paper and you won't have to.
Time: 1 minute

SECRET TIP 9: VACUUMING
Stick to the middle of the room, which is the only place
people look. Don't bother vacuuming under furniture. It takes
way too long and no one looks there anyway.
Time: 5 minutes, entire house; 2 minutes, living room only

SECRET TIP 10: LIGHTING
The key here is low, low, and lower. It's not only romantic,
but bad lighting can hide a multitude of dirt.
Time: 10 seconds

SECRET TIP 11: BED MAKING
Get an old-fashioned waterbed. No one can tell if those things
are made up or not, saving you hundreds of seconds over the
course of a lifetime. Never mind if you actually like to sleep on it!
Time: 0

SECRET TIP 12: SHOWERS, TOILETS, AND SINKS
Forget one and two. Concentrate on three.
Time: 1 minute

SECRET TIP 13:
If you already knew at least 10 of these tips, don't even
think about inviting a Martha Stewart type to your home.

Thursday Thirteen Participants
1. Jackie
2. Lori
3. Amazing Gracie
4. MissMeliss
5. Sandier Pastures
6. Blue Momma
7. Nicholas
8. mar
9. Wolfie
10. jennifer
11. heather
12. maggie
13. Siani
14. Deb - Mom of 3 Girls
15. MamaLee
16. Believer in Balance
17. Joyful Days
18. empress bee (of the high sea)
19. Matt-Man
20. Comedy Plus
21. Aline de Chevigny

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21 comments, add yours here:

Jackie said...

LOL Hilarious!! But I think I'll try some of 'em!
Happy TT! :)

Cecily R said...

You are funny! I'm pretty sure I've done every one of these at least once...especially the door locking method! :)

Lori said...

Oh my....Ive done a few of these *blush*...but at least Im not alone;) Happy TT and thanks for the advise and for stopping by..

Amazing Gracie said...

No, I'm definitely not on Martha's list. I'd rather be outside pulling weeds!
Great list~

MissMeliss said...

Please add "bathtubs with opaque shower curtains" as a bonus...you can totally stuff an entire hamper in a tub, and close the curtain.

Blue Momma said...

So I knew them all. I guess Martha won't be visiting me any time soon!

Nicholas said...

Brilliant list! I've made a note of several of them.

.:mar said...

Excellent!! what a helpful list. It really is a "must read". I close all doors when possible but now I have more tips, thanks and happy TT!

Wolfie said...

Haha..very "educational" list..I've getting lots of help here..(especially #1)

Elween said...

ha! this is way to funny! Martha Stewart might lose to you!

i linked from Akelamalu to say hello
take care! :)

Siani said...

Funny list - sounds just like my usual house-cleaning regime.

Deb - Mom of 3 Girls said...

I have to admit I've used some of these! Although you have to be careful with #3 if your company expects dinner! LOL Great list! :)

MamaLee said...

OMG, you found me on my cleaning day! Thanks for cutting my cleaning time in half X3 today! lol

Happy TT!

Believer in Balance said...

Oh yes, the cleaning shortcuts, I know them well! My walk in closet holds a lot of stuff I haven't put away! Time: 2 minutes.

Joyful Days said...

I may print and frame this!!! You have made my day to know I am not alone.

Although #3 needs a caution too!! I've been known to pre-heat the oven without checking to be sure it's empty. I'm just saying...

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

where was this list when i was young and gave a dang?? ha ha

smiles, bee

Matt-Man said...

I've used Number 3 on numerous occasions. Cheers!!

Sandee (Comedy +) said...

Oh my, this makes me want to clean house properly. That can't be good. Have a great TT. :)

Aline de Chevigny said...

So that's what one does wit dishes?
I love it.

Aline

tegdirb92 said...

wonderful tips--LOL. Just don't look inside my oven when you come over. Have a great Thursday.

Sanni said...

Bwahahaaaa! I didn´t play this week, but I so needed to jump out of my feedreader and share my "LOL"!

Thank you!