Tuesday, August 28, 2007

What you didn't know about Hallmark

Hallmark Cards has a new division that is targeted toward the growing group of dysfunctional families. Here is a sample of their new cards.

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to
love, and now that you've come into my life...
(Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life...
(Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met
you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am...
(Inside card) - That you're here to ruin it for me.

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go...
(Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back?
You may need it again.

5. Someday I hope to marry...
(Inside card) - Someone other than you.

6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age...
(Inside card) - Almost lifelike.

7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me...
(Inside card) - Now that we've broken up, I think
it's time to keep your promise.

8. We've been friends for a very long time...
(Inside card) - What do you say we stop?

9. I'm miserable without you...
(Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.



10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...
(Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father
is?

11. You're such a good friend - if we were on a sinking
ship and there was only one life jacket...
(Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you
often.

12. Your friends and I wanted to do something really
special for your birthday...
(Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

13. Happy birthday Uncle Dad!
(Available only in Alabama, Mississippi, West Virginia
and Holder, Florida)

14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I
can't help but wonder...
(Inside card) - What was I thinking?

15. Congratulations on your Wedding Day...
(Inside card) - Too bad no one likes your husband.

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