Thursday, May 17, 2007

My 18th Thursday Thirteen

You Might Be A Redneck if...

1. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the table in front of her kids.

2. Jack Daniel's makes your list of "Most Admired People."

3. You wonder how gas stations keep their restrooms so clean.

4. Your Junior / Senior prom had a daycare.

5. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.

6. The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending on how much gas is in it.

7. Ya' can't git married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a dang law against it.

8. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

9. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

10. Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

11. You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard.

12. You have ever used a toilet brush as a back scratcher.

13. You ever named a child after a dog.

26 comments, add yours here:

Jolene said...

LMAO. I used to have neighbors like that. Gotta love those rednecks.

Xilly said...

Great list. I wonder who will be the one writing page number on the toilet paper #9. LOL

Gattina said...

Sorry I can't let smoke my 12 yr old daughter in front of her kids, I have a son !! and numbering my toilet paper pages is the best idea you probably ever had, I will do it right away at least I can count then and calculate how many pages one person in my household uses ! Youpee ! I am off !
(a little later : numbering is easy but the rolling it up again was a little difficult and everybody knocked at the door because it was apparently urgent )

Crystal said...

Hah! I love Jeff Foxworthy... and it's funny, I just wrote my own "You might be a redneck if..." today on my blog. lol

Happy T13. :o)

This Eclectic Life said...

Whew! I was worried I might be a redneck. Six out of thirteen isn't bad. lol!! Good list. Happy TT.

Mz Jackson said...

I've never used a toilet brush to scratch my back, but I've used one of those back scrubber brushes for the shower. In fact, I keep it by the bed. Does that count? :)

Alexis Jacobs said...

These are hilarious!! Thanks for sharing.

mar said...

LOL!
happy tt :)

Matt-Man said...

Good Ones. Love Number 8. Cheers!!

Lazy Daisy said...

Great list, I could identify with some of them....was my neck ever red!

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

hey! who you callin' a redneck trish? ha ha ha ha

smiles, bee

Morgen said...

...your front porch collapses and it kills more'n three dogs...

Mags said...

LOL...I don't fit any of those, but I sure did laugh!

Courtney said...

LOL those are great, thanks for the laugh!

Chelle said...

Great list!

TeaMouse said...

Those are pretty hilarious! I like the wide load sign and the toilet brush ones...:) not to mention that silly marriage law.

Lyn Perry said...

Or from Kansas. :-)
Lyn from Bloggin' Outloud

Comedy + said...

Oh my, oh my. These are great. Many I hadn't heard either. LMAO! Thanks for my first laugh.

Sparky Duck said...

hilarious!

Dana said...

Confession: In our town, they make up these "fixtures" to display in your yard if you donate enough money to the Relay For Life. It is a purple toilet with a bunch of FAKE flowers in it. I know it is for a good cause, but I still cringe everytime I see one.

Skittles said...

Are you sure this isn't Bee's blog? LOL

Lori said...

Now thats funny right there, I dont care who you are;)

Qtpies7 said...

that cracked me up! thanks a bunch!

Titania Starlight said...

Hey your talking about my family. LOL!!! Those were very funny! :o)~

Linda said...

You stole this from Empress Bee, didn't you?!? Funny stuff!

Kai said...

OMG Those are great! I love #8! :-)