Tuesday, January 30, 2007

The letter

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope
propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad" With
the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter
with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with
you and Mom.
I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew
you would not approve of her because of all her body piercing and
tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much
older than I am but it's not only the passion.
Dad, she's pregnant. Joan says that we are going to be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough
for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really
hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people
in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so
Joan can get better; she sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15
years old now and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Your son, Chad
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
the report card that's in my desk drawer.
I love you!
Call when it is safe for me to come home.

3 comments, add yours here:

East of Oregon said...

Would you not just go nuts if your child left that kind of note? Wheww - I have come across that before or one similar, and it is - - well, I'm not sure I even have the words.. things that make you go "hmmm."
take care, and happy Tuesday!

GreenEyedGirl said...

That is one clever boy! I don't think I would have had the guts to do that to my parents.

Gene Bach said...

Now that's funny, I don't care who you are. True too!