CrAzY Working Mom: bad dreams

Showing posts with label bad dreams. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Conversations with Tyler - Part Two

...continued from yesterday. To read the first part of this conversation click here.

Me: Tyler, you know if you have a bad dream, this dream catcher will catch it and keep it there so you won't have anymore bad dreams, right?

Tyler: Oh, yeah I forgot about that. Maybe the batteries are dead.

Me: No, maybe we need to take it outside and shake the bad dreams out of it.

Tyler: I ain't goin' outside. I'm scared of the dark...and the lions!

Me: Well, maybe tomorrow we'll take your dream catcher down and take it outside and shake the bad dreams out of it.

Tyler: We'd better do Shelby's too 'cause I know if mine is full hers is too and we'll change the batteries in them and maybe the smoke detectors too.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

My Worst Fear Confirmed!

I feel the terror screaming inside. My palms are sweaty. I feel my heart pounding. I can't control it and I don't know why. I have to be in control. I need to be in control. Why is this happening to me?! What have I done to cause this? I am beginning to panic. "Calm down" I tell myself. I cannot let them see me out of control like this. I cannot allow them to fear what I fear. It is just not right. When is it going to end? Is it almost time....

"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP"

I slap the snooze button on my alarm clock and stare at the ceiling drenched in sweat. I had the dream again, I exclaimed. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and tried to shake off the fear that was clinging to my body just like the sweat. I made my way to the coffee pot, and began the brew. I filled two sippie cups with milk and one bottle with formula. As the coffee brewed, I made my way to a warm bath and began contemplating this recurring dream. I have dreamed it for as long as I can remember, possibly since the first day I drove.

The bath helped to clear my head and I shook off the fear as I made my way to the coffee pot. The rest of the morning was a hurried rush just as it is every day, a bit of orderly chaos I like to call it. I rounded up the kiddos and we headed to the truck. They were safely buckled in their seats and I began to back out of the drive way.

As I pressed my breaks, they went to the floor. THIS was not a dream. I was awake. My children were with me, I had no breaks in my truck. My worst nightmare was coming true, right here and right now! I shook my head, and began to push the gas again thinking I was just imagining my worst fear coming true. Right before my eyes, I realized that it was not my imagination. Something was terribly wrong. I tried to keep my fear under wraps as I grabbed my cell phone and began to dial my husband's phone. He answered and I calmly told him that something was wrong with my truck. I had to press my breaks all the way to the floor to get it to stop. Even then there was a little bit of hesitation and was not completely stopping it.

He was only five minutes away. I drove to him and left my truck at his office while I took the kids to school in his truck. When I got back, he drove my truck to the shop where the mechanic informed us that he would fix the breaks. On the way back to the office, my husband said to me,

"You weren't kidding when you said you didn't have any breaks were you?!"

Ummm...no, I don't think that is something I would kid about!!!
$892 later, I have breaks and a bunch of other new stuff I couldn't tell you anything about. But, something had caused all of my break fluid to leak out so that is why I had no breaks. My worst fear came true yesterday. I stared fear in the face. I hope to never do it again!

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

King Sized Nightmares

My six year old daughter was standing at my bed side. She was whimpering that she'd had a bad dream. I sleepily raised my head from the pillow and glanced at the clock. The number three was all I could make out. The rest was irrelevant because I had just been up a little over an hour earlier feeding her baby sister. Two hours before that, somehow Tyler had made his way into our bedroom. When this happened I do not know. He has learned to sneak up on his father's side of the bed and worm his way into the middle without waking me because I carry him back to his bed when this happens. Yes, we have a King sized bed. But, you put one child into this equation and it equals mom on the edge of one side, dad on the edge of another and child turned sideways in the middle. Sometimes I am lucky enough to get the "head" end, but most of the time I get the mule kicking "leg" end.

I kicked the covers down and threw my legs over the edge of the bed careful not to move the bassinet that contained the previously fed four month old sister mentioned above. Shelby wanted to chatter about her dream. I just put my finger over my mouth and motioned her back toward her room. I walked her to her bedroom. As I tucked her in she told me that she had a bad dream. I told her that it was okay and I would tuck her in and she could go back to sleep. She said that she wanted to sleep with me and I informed her that she was a big girl and she needed to sleep in her own bed. I kissed her forehead and made my way back into my bedroom.

I contemplated taking Tyler back to his bed at this time, but I realized that if I did he'd probably start screaming and I'd have two children awake with no doubt that Emily would follow suit. I laid back down after turning Tyler straight in the bed. It wasn't long after when Shelby came back into my bedroom and said that she could not sleep in her bed because she was scared. Her dream catcher was not doing it's job. She threw her bad dream to it and it fell back down on her!

For those of you unfamilliar with a dream catcher, it is traditionally a Native American made craft designed to hang above a child's bed to catch nightmares. Shelby informed me that tonight when we get home that we have to clean it out. We must take it from her ceiling and shake it off outside so that the bad dreams that it has collected will be gone. It is too full to collect any more nightmares. Well, that's that...I will be spending my evening cleaning cob webs from the corners and bad dreams out of dream catchers. How about you? What will you be doing this evening?! Hopefully tonight will mean more sleep, even if it means dreaming of something such as work or even Ferrari parts.