Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Back to School Part 2 - The Drop Off

If you missed the first part of this post, you can click here to catch up.  But, I left off yesterday with how happy and excited the kids were when they woke up and put on their new clothes, shoes, and grabbed their new backpacks and lunchboxes filled with delicious and nutritious (well, sort of!) food.  They were all geared up and ready to go.  We were all excited and to be honest, we'd done enough prep the night before that the morning went very smoothly.  Lunches were packed the night before, clothes sat out as well.

Once we arrived at our first destination, daycare for Emily (the youngest) she was excited.  She was going into a different class with a new teacher.  She called it the "big gwil" class.  She went right to her new teacher with no hesitation and did great.  She was all smiles as we left to take the big kids to school!  Whew, one down...two to go.  Little did I know that the youngest would be the easiest!

When we got to the Elementary school that my two oldest attend, it was mass chaos, as to be expected on the first day of school.  We parked and walked across.  Of course my kids have to wait in the mornings at two different driveways and their classrooms are at complete opposite hallways from one another.  It makes for a difficult task in trying to get them both to their classrooms at the same time!  Shelby went to her assigned driveway first.  I stayed with her for a minute.  She was a bit nervous and didn't want me to leave her.  Unfortunately I had to take Tyler to the back driveway and time was running out as it was getting close to time for the bell to ring.  I told her I'd take Tyler over to his driveway and get him situated and then come back to check on her.

Tyler and I walked through the school back to the driveway where they wait until the bell rings.  It is a smaller driveway and there isn't a lot of room out there.  Of course we squeezed our way to the back of the line and once we were there, I realized that it would be no small task getting back through to go check on Shelby.  So, I made an executive decision to wait with Tyler who seemed to be getting more nervous by the minute!  He began to say his belly was hurting...pulling out the tricks from last year.  I told him that it was probably just nerves and it'd settle down once he got in class and the nervousness died down.  As we headed into the school, the waterworks started.  He began to cry and ask me if we could leave.  His belly was hurting so bad that he did not think he should stay at school. 

They wait in line outside of their classroom and get instruction from their teacher on what to do when they get inside.  This year's Kindergarten teacher encourages parents to NOT come into the classroom.  Say your goodbyes and snap pictures outside the door, as "Quick goodbyes makes for dry eyes".  As I was standing there with Tyler, I spotted Shelby walking into the building.  I walked over to her and told her I loved her and I hoped she had a great day.  As I bent down to give her a kiss, I was totally brushed off.  She has tears in her eyes and said that promised that I would come back and I never did.  So, now I have two children who are crying and one of them is walking in the opposite direction of the other!!

It was at this very moment when I just wanted to sit in the middle of the floor and cry!  But, as a parent, these moments are what makes us who we are.  I stood strong and pulled her out of line and explained to her that this was her 4th year at this school and that she was old enough to sit by herself and wait for the school bell.  Tyler was still nervous and I felt it necessary to wait with him rather than her.  She was still upset and I felt bad, but I had to send her on her way and go back to Tyler.  I told her I'd come down and check on her before I left.

As I went back to Tyler, his teacher was instructing parents to finish their goodbyes so that they could head into the classroom.  At this point he was very upset and crying so hard he was unable to speak.  He kept telling me that he wanted to tell me one more thing.  I felt so bad for the little guy.  He finally managed to get out that he wanted me to peek my head in the window when I went by after checking on Shelby.  I promised him I would do just that.

As he headed into class, I zipped down to the other end of the building only to find that Shelby was already in her class at the teacher was at the front giving instructions for the day.  Shelby has her back to the door, so she never saw that I came to check on her, but her teacher did, so I backed out as not to get into trouble for disrupting her class.  Tyler's classroom is on the way out the door, so I peeked in on him and he was still crying.  He looked up and spotted me, waved and blew me a kiss.  I did the same and turned to leave.

When I reached the car in the parking lot, I broke down.  I cried...A LOT!  I felt horrible that I had let Shelby down and that Tyler was so upset again, even though he'd done this last year.  I just wanted to go grab them out of class, bring them home and smother them with kisses.  I was alone and felt horrible!  It was at that very moment, I realized that each year it will become more and more difficult with three children.  Next year Shelby will be going to Middle School, so I will have children in three different locations.  I just don't know what I will do.  It's going to be a difficult task, to say the least, but I know that I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength (Phil 4:13)!!  So, until then I will just do the best that I can and make the tough decisions that have to be made along the way and if I need to cry about them afterward, who says I can't do so in the privacy of my own empty mini-van?!

1 comments, add yours here:

Amanda said...

I completely feel your pain... although I had to leave my son at his college campus, 900 miles from home. I was strong until he said, "See you in December!" I waited until I got in the car, too, to completely fall apart. Felt like my heart had been ripped out.