Friday, January 22, 2010

How to Spot a "Mom"

Thursday afternoon we went to Wal-Mart to get the supplies we needed to make Valentine's Day boxes for the kids' Valentine's Day parties.  They had Taco Bell for dinner and I had a Weight Watchers Smart Ones (7lbs down so far!!!) dinner.  I had promised told the kids they could watch a DVD in my bedroom since we would have some extra time this evening.  They ended up playing until bedtime.  This swift conversation ensued between Shelby (my seven year old daughter) and myself:

Me:  Okay, guys it's bedtime.

Shelby:  But, Mom you said we could watch a movie.  When do we get to watch a movie?

Me:  Well, you guys played and now it's bedtime so you'll have to choose one tomorrow and watch it after you do your homework.

Shelby:  First we can watch a movie and now we can't AND it's're such a MOM!!

This conversation got me thinking about being a Mom, the funny things that happen to me and ways I think others might be able to spot a "mom" in the crowd.  Here's what I have come up with.  Feel free to contribute to this list in the comments.

How to spot a "Mom"

We'll start off with her appearance:
- Her hair will most likely be tossled. It's the "bed head" look and thank goodness it's in style now 'cause Mom's don't have time to "un-bed" their head.

- Her shirt will most likely have some sort of cheesy, sticky, or powdery residue located on it. It is also a high probability that it will be in the form of a small hand print located right on her hind end.

- Yes, I'm sure you've noticed that this is the third day in a row she's wore those jeans. The stains are small and that hole in the knee made those things jump in value from $40 jeans to $80! The most likely reason she's worn them three days in a row is because she hasn't had time to do laundry and she only owns two or three pair. This is due to the fact that she is on a diet and refuses to buy a new pair until she drops at least one size! Oh, and that is a half eaten gold fish on her rear end.

- Those slip on shoes that she's wearing probably don't even come close to matching that cheesy coated shirt but they are easy to get on when she realizes that the kids get out of school in fifteen minutes and the baby isn't due to wake up from their nap for another thirty!  Please don't tell her that one of her socks are blue and the other is black.  This could cause a melt down.

She'll be driving:
- Most likely a mini-van or some sort of SUV. There will be car seats and booster seats scattered throughout. It might be fun to make some sort of game out of this one. Who can find the most half eaten foods under the seats?! It is guaranteed that there will be at least one half eaten french fry, piece of fruit, chicken nugget, cheese stick, chip, pretzel, fruit roll up, or the likes in this form of transportation. If not, she probably just got her oil changed and got deluxe package with the free vacuum.

In her purse (depending on the age of her children) you might find:
  • Bandaids
  • A pacifier (even if she has a kindergartner, this could still be lingering!)
  • Crayons
  • Any form of half eaten foods mentioned above
  • Hotwheels
  • Slap Bracelets
  • NO Quarters (they're all used on the machines outside of Wal-Mart)
  • A tube of chapstick with NO lid
  • The Car Keys...yes, she's been looking for those for nearly a half an hour and she's late to pick up the kids.  Get outta the way!
Of course there are mothers out there who are always perfectly put together, their children are always well behaved, make straight As and are the teacher's favorite. These mothers will drive perfectly clean vehicles, have matching accessories and beautifully chosen outfits. These mothers will have beautiful homes with clean floors and spotless furniture. You can watch them on television, but it's highly unlikely that they exist in real life! ;)

11 comments, add yours here:

Willa said...

You really make me laugh, yes to NO Quarters,and the chapstick,and the crayons, (actually I have colored pencil)oh gosh..the list can go on and on and!

scrapperjen said...

ROFL! I think you hit all that right on the head. PERFECT description.
Thanks for the laugh - have a super weekend!

Anna said...

Very funny! Makes me glad my kids are practically grown - except that makes me sad, too.

Linda said...

I will look forward to your updated installment when your kids are old enough for you to be a teenager's Mom!

Very cute!

Shana said...

What is so bad is that I was reading this and agreeing with all of it when I heard my son cough and then my hubby called Honey. I went in and my son was throwing up hot dogs and fries. EEW. That was not fun. A mother is a frazzled being.

Anonymous said...
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Patois said...

Okay, Anonymous has got to get a life!

I've had on my list of things to blog about how many days my record is for not washing my jeans.

Love the list, fellow real Mom.

Crazy Working Mom said...

Hey Anonymous. NO, and like Patios said...GET A LIFE and quit spamming my blog!

Shutterbug8162 said...

I took note of all of these things as they are in my not too distant future. thanks for the smiles!!!

Delightfully Wed's Weblog said...

LOL Your list brings back many memories. I'll just say as they grown older the quarters's the dollars they want! Enjoyed reading your blog. Just noticed that you're from Arkansas, too. ~Debbie

Anonymous said...

You ALWAYS make me laugh. I dont know how you come up with so many cute things??? Love Ya~~~ Tina