Thursday, May 24, 2007

Thursday Thirteen #19

Thirteen Parental Definitions:
AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.
BOTTLE FEEDING: an opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 AM too.
GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
LOOK OUT!: what it's too late for your child to do by the time you scream it. OWWW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.
PREPARED CHILDBIRTH: a contradiction in terms.
PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.
STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
OOPS: an exclamation that translates roughly into "get a sponge".

22 comments, add yours here:

Christina said...

I love this! Especially amnesia. LOL.

Happy Thursday!

Scribbit said...

I would also add that if you have a child get sick in the middle of the night he/she is sure to be on the top bunk. It's like Murphy's Law or something :)

Di said...

Can I add Hearing Impaired? As in, having a special device implanted in one's eardrum that precludes one from listening the first time one's parents tell one something? This leads to second and third repetitions and then the expected, "Don't yell at me!"

FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

Didn't play today but that doesn't keep me from visiting you. Your definitions are a great help. Thanks for the share.

Twisted Cinderella said...

LOL LOL! These are great!

Maggie said...

Ooops I thought meant something else. Evolving being a parent again... LOL.

Great TT

Matt-Man said...

My son was about three when he was wearing a cape and jumped off the couchthinking he was Superman. Turns out that he was merely Clark Kent because he broke his arm. Cheers!!

Titania Starlight said...

Those were asweome! I have two children, ages 12 and 22. I just found out I am going to be a grandmother! All this comes rushing back! Thanks for the smiles. :o)

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

well i especially loved the grandparents one! ha ha

smiles, bee

Lazy Daisy said...

Great definitions. Thanks for the giggle this morning.

Angela at mommy bytes said...

Funny list, I love it!

TeaMouse said...

Isn't it funny the different things you learn being a parent. I know with us our kids are 17 and 14 and we're now at the stage where everything we do or say embarasses them. So now my DH and I think of things to do just to freak out our daughter the 14 yo. If we dance in the house - this is a fate worse than death, and worse if we threaten to dance when her friends are over or to say anything she considers 'uncool'...lol!

Comedy + said...

The first one had me rolling on the floor. Great job... Have a great day.

Mz Jackson said...

These are so good, and so true!!

Christine said...

Those are great. The first one cracked me up.

Hope you have a great weekend!

Skittles said...

I loved these!

pussreboots said...

Funny list! Good advice about the jammies and the top bunk. I can so see my son trying that one in a couple of years. Yikes! Happy TT.

Amy Ruttan said...

LOL on #1. That's great and so true.

Happy TT and thanks for dropping by mine.

Linda said...

And then there's the ever popular LANGUAGE BARRIER which causes your children to not understand a single word you say no matter how many times you may have said the same thing!

The Rock Chick said...

This is hysterical!!! My favortie is amnesia. How true is that!!!

Happy TT
Jessica The Rock Chick

Scribbit said...

That is the funniest--Amnesia. Snort.

Dayngr said...

These are so cute! Are there more? If so, send them to me if you have a min.