Tuesday, May 23, 2006

The little squirt

Bec, I'm tellin' this one for you. Since you get such a kick outta my mommy stories. *LOL*

So, this morning hubby had to leave early. I was going to get to sleep in a bit, 'cause the in laws (babysitters) had to come into town, so they were going to meet me at work to pick up the kids. Well, little man woke up when Daddy did. I found out later why. He was fidgeting around in bed and I picked him up and figured if rocked him, he'd eventually go back to sleep. Well, he didn't. So, anyhow we got up with Daddy. He wouldn't play in the floor, he wanted to be in my lap. That was fine, 'till he started grunting. Yep...he was makin' a package for me at 5:30 am!!

Well, I gave him enough time that I assumed he was finished. I laid him in the bedroom floor (THANK GOODNESS) and proceeded to do the deed. It was a stinker too. I'm not talking just a shoo wee...I'm talkin' nose hairs burning, face turning green, where's the clothes pin for my nose STANK!! Well, I get the dirty diaper out from under him and I am holding him up by his feet and all of the sudden I hear a noise. It sounded like the flood gates were opening...the squirt sound. Yup, here it comes!! Then there's a huge pile of wet, greenish brown poop in the floor in front of me. I let out a yell. (at this point dad is in the bathroom doing his morning deed). I grabbed the clean diaper that I had beside me. It was not spread out. But, I put it under him and scooted him up. Then I hear more squirting. I was catching this with the diaper. Then he finally stops squirting. So, I moved him over again and got the second dirty diaper out of the way and raised him up again and this time, it was projectile poop. It squirted all over my legs. At this point, if it had not been my child I would have ran from the room screaming for his mother! So, I pick him up by his hands and feet and take him in the bathroom where my husband is laughing his head off. I sat him over the sink (the baby, not the laughing husband) and asked my husband if he could help. He does so by handing me a small wipie. Thanks, hon this'll be all I need to clean squirty poop from me and your son! What a guy!! How in the heck could I do this without him? Well, at this time Tyler is still squirting and my husband says, is that him? What's wrong with him. I was like, well I think he has diareah!!!

Anyhow, he finally quit squirting so I quickly cleaned him up and then got him diapered and dressed. Then I had to clean myself. Then was the really nasty chore...clean the piles up out of the bedroom floor. OH MY, it was a chore. I wasn't sure if I was going to make it through. It's a good thing that I have a strong stomach!!

Tune in next time for another great episode of "Motherhood...they can't make this up!!"

4 comments, add yours here:

Bec said...

That story may be more "gross" than "funny." :)

Tisha said...

sorry. : (

Just told it like it happened...

Renee' said...

That was to funny. LOL I almost feel out of my chair I was laughing so hard hehe

Becca said...

well, okay, you did tell a gross story in the funniest possible way. :)