Amazing Home Remedies
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost
instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use
a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze
button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you
will be afraid to cough.
Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
Remember:
1. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
2. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
3. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
4. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never
know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.
3 comments, add yours here:
Please, oh please! Do not ever pour boiling water down your throat or anyone's -especially your children!
Scalding your mouth, face, neck and throat is too drastic a measure for an ice cube -hot water should surfice!
I tried the sink thing. The Mrs got even madder than when I leave the seat up. Wonder if it would have been OK, if we didn't have company at the time and if I would have used the bathroom sink instead of the kitchen sink.
Heh heh...thanks anonymous for your wonderful tidbit of information! : )
Maybe you should come raise my children for me...
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