Seminars for Men/Women
The female staff will be offering courses listed below to men of any marital status. Class size will be limited to 18 as material may prove to be difficult.
1.Combating Stupidity
2.You Too Can Do Housework
3.P.M.S. - Learning When To Keep Your Mouth Shut
4.How To Fill An Ice Cube Tray
5.We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas - Give Us Money
6.Understanding the Female Response To You Coming In Drunk At 4 AM
7.Wonderful Laundry Techniques (Formerly Called "Don't Wash My Silks")
8.Parenting - No, It Doesn't End With Conception
9.Get a Life - Learn How To Cook
10.How Not To Act Like a Butthead When You Are Obviously Wrong
11.Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right
12.Understanding Your Financial Incompetence
13.You - The Weaker Sex
14.Reasons To Give Flowers
15.How To Stay Awake After Sex
16.Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere But the Bathroom
17.Garbage - Getting It To the Curb
18.SEX 118A - You Can Fall Asleep Without It If You Really Try
19.SEX 118B - The Morning Dilemma - If It's Awake, Take a Shower
20.The Weekend and Sports Are Not Synonomous
21.How To Put The Toilet Seat Down
22.How To Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Get Lost
23.The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency
24.Helpful Postural Hints For Couch Potatoes
25.How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
26.You Too Can Be a Designated Driver
27.Honest, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson, Especially When Naked
28.Changing Your Underwear - It Really Works
29.The Attainable Goal - Omitting %@#*! From Your Vocabulary
30.Fluffing the Blankets After Farting is NOT Necessary
31.Real Men Ask For Directions
32.How To Take Illness Like a Man
(in fairness I thought I'd list this one too)
The male staff will be offering courses listed below to women of all marital status. Attendance in at least 10 is mandatory:
1.Avoiding Walking in Front of the TV
2.Doing Housework Without Complaining
3.Shopping: Buying What You Can Afford, Not What You Can Charge
4.Going to The Washroom Alone (formerly Coping Without My Friends)
5.Understanding the Male Response to "Do I Look OK?"
6.Excercise: How it Keeps You from Looking Like Your Mother
7.Sex: Learning How to Initiate
8.How to Apologize When You Are Obviously Wrong
9.Understanding the Male Response to "Am I Fat?"
10.Dishwashers: Rinsing Before Is Not a Must
11.The Toilet Seat: I Can Put It Down
12.Sex Thesaurus: Alternatives to "Make Love"
13."The Weekend" and "Long Boring Walks" Are Not Synonymous
14.How to Go Shopping With Your Mate and Not Embarrass Him
15.The Remote Control: Don't Touch What You Can't Handle
16.You Too Can Be the One to Hang Up the Phone
17.Honest, You Don't Look Like Kim Bassinger -- But You're Acceptable
18.Hairspray: The Effects On The Ecosystem (formerly One Can Is Enough)
19.Runs In Your Nylons? It's Not the End of the World
20.Fishing: Being Able to Bait Your Own Hook
21.Sex: More Than Just Lying There
22.Learning to Choose What to Wear In Less Than Four Hours
23.Vacations: Doing Without 4 Suitcases
24.Makeup: The Less is More Theory
25.Nagging: Stop the Insanity!
26.How to use only 1/2 the closet
27.Sports terminology (formerly, "No the Dodgers play Baseball not Basketball)
28.Living with only 2 dozen pairs of shoes
29.Shopping, disease or weakness
30.Excercise, it won't kill you once in a while
31.Showering: the water does not have to be set to boil
32.Getting flowers: wouldn't you rather have something useful, like an autographed baseball?
1 comments, add yours here:
Think the courses for women should be mandantory! They should start them in junior high school at least!
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