Bringing home a sibling
I am posting this here so that in case I need to refer to it after the baby is born, I'll know right where to go!
Behavioral Issues
Here are some common reactions from a child at the introduction of a new sibling:
Disinterest: In the beginning, follow an older child's cues for how interested he is in helping or playing with the baby. An older sibling may hold back from an infant because he wants to watch what the baby does and what others do for him, or he may just be adjusting at his own speed. Some children prefer to more or less ignore a new baby until he gets more interactive, points out Dena Hofkosh, MD, director of the child development unit at Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh.
Regression: Expect your older child to regress a little when you bring the new baby home. Watching the attention the new baby gets, she will experiment with acting like a baby again herself. She may try to wedge herself into a baby exerciser or start waking up at night wanting some extra comfort and security. Within reason, experts advise making as little of these regressions as possible. If a younger child who has given up bottles or pacifiers wants one again, let her have it, but explain that these are things babies use, not big kids. If a child who's been toilet trained starts having accidents, clean her up quickly and tell her you're sure she'll do better in the future. For most children, this regression phase will pass within a few months.
Anger: All children act out to some degree when a new sibling comes home. But your child will be less likely to act out if he's getting enough one-on-one attention from both parents, says Dr. Hofkosh. Make a promise to read a book, play a game, or take a walk with him and stick to it. You can also provide your older child with safe ways to vent his frustration and jealousy -- Play-Doh to punch, block towers to knock down. Just as important is giving him words to express what he's feeling at the time: "I know it's hard that the baby has to nurse right now and I can't play with your cars with you. You must be feeling frustrated and mad."
If your child is saying things that seem a little harsh (such as "I want the baby to go back to the hospital!"), that's actually a step in the right direction, says Dr. Hofkosh. These are strong emotions and the best thing a parent can do is listen and acknowledge what her child is feeling. You might say "I know it's tough getting used to having a baby around. But I'll bet pretty soon you're going to like having a little sister to play with."
1 comments, add yours here:
This is great stuff. I will also need it when Belly is born. :)
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